Why Telling People About Jahez is Problematic

Jahez has become a mainstay for desi weddings. It has become a regular activity for the female side to start arranging for this years in advance. The groom side essentially considers it routine for the bride’s side to give them this share. There are even dowry showing events in which jahez is showcased. However, there is a growing discontent against Jahez which has been elevated via the use of mass media with ongoing campaigns to abolish it from society. Here we begin with something simple as we try to convince you on how telling people what you got in Jahez can be problematic and can cause a damaging effect.

Permeating class difference

In an egalitarian society, all people are treated as equals in all social and fiscal aspects. However, practically in our society that is not the case and society has been split into classes which are based on a multitude of factors with the most prominent one being money. We as a society are divided into rich and poor with the divide increasing with each fleeting moment.
Now the reason why the practice of Jahez is relevant in this circumstance is because often the amount of dowry attests to the financial muscle of the family. It showcases how much monetary privilege a particular family enjoys. Thus the amount of Jahez is used to judge a family’s financial situation. This results in propagating the concepts of class difference.

Peer Pressure for Future Weddings

Let’s face it, peer pressure in our society is real and has an enormous effect in the day to day decision making processes of millions of our people. It heavily shapes perceptions and ambitions for a lot of people. Therefore, Jahez directly serves as a pressure cooker for families whose daughters are soon to be married. Lines like these add to the growing stress of families

Hayeee! Unho ne to damaad ko gaari di hai jahez main

Such statements add to the growing burden of matching social expectations. It make things harder for the bride’s parents as they may or may not have the financial adequacy to meet those expectations and growing demands. Constantly spreading news regarding who got what can be detrimental in this aspect.

Comparisons are made

Moving on from our previous point, this follow directly from the peer pressure point. The constant news of who has given what in Jahez is spread throughout. Naturally, when such information is public, comparisons are bound to be made. Whenever a marriage is held, several remarks resembling this can be heard

Inho ne kitna kam diya hai! unho ne to itna saara jahez diya tha

This comparison is not just limited to already married brides. It is even more harder for to be married brides. Whenever they are gathering stuff for dowry, the parents are immediately put into an inferiority complex and anxiety induced state by all those comparisons. All of this propagates an element of toxicity in our society.

Automatically raises the standards for poor people

Collecting dowry is no easy feat for a lot of people. Decades of saving and financial planning is behind whatever is gathered for the daughter. They try to provide the best for their daughter to the best of our abilities. In an effort to ensure a good future for their daughter, they sacrifice their today for tomorrow.
However, the constant comparisons and news of dowry at other weddings hampers their plans. Not only do they gain this perpetual feeling of having to do more, it makes it tougher for them to organize and accommodate the every increasing demands of society. A practice which is already a back breaker for poor people becomes even more of a hindrance.

Promotes wastage of money

Money is an important asset. In fact, it can be said to be one of the dictating elements of social life. One of the prominent life advices is to spend it wisely. However, when it comes to desi wedding, this advice is hardly followed. Already, the amount of money spent on weddings is extravagant. Couple it with the spending on dowry and it turns out to be quite excessive.

Not only can the money be better spent, it is also spent on a practice that already has negative effects that have been stated above. Money is a finite source and such activities add to unnecessary forced spending due to pressure. This deprives people of money when they actually need it such as healthcare emergencies etc.

Hurts self-esteem of parents

Parents are the individuals on whose shoulders this burden of dowry lands on. It is upto them to arrange all the stuff needed to make their daughter’s wedding a reality. They go through a lot in order to get it done. From investing in committees to keeping stuff decades in advance, they articulately plan everything.
Now imagine after years of labor, the results of your efforts are compared to be inferior and lacking after someone elses reveals their dowry in a grand way. The crushing blow such activities can strike on the hearts and self respect of parents and is often overlooked.

Propagates feelings of Jealousy and Envy

Following up on the toxicity part. This activity invokes a general feeling of animosity towards each other. People might be totally courteous towards each other on paper. However, families may be jealous of each other. This might just be due to the plain fact of how much dowry each party has given. Backbiting and other ill activities speed up amongst families whenever this sensitive issues are brought up. The conspiratorial nature of this problem starts rising with some of the following lines

Pata nahi haram ka paisa hai jo itna zyada jahez de diya

Such envious thoughts make relations and connections weaker and prone to even stronger negative feelings. This can lead to a whole host of problems.

Makes wedding planning tougher

Finally building upon the previous points, we have the entire system of wedding being damaged due to this. Wedding plan is heavily based on the finances of a person. If the constant cycle of dowry is being repeated over and over again, that has a heavy impact on everyone’s spending purse. Thus it makes it hard for a marriage to take place. In our society, the practice is getting harder every day. Such events only tend to enhance the difficulties faced by single individuals as well as their parents. There are a dozen obstructions thrown into one's way. On a sidenote, if affordability is your perk, here are some ideas.


Jahez continues to be a mainstay in desi wedding culture. Despite increasing scrutiny on the issue, it is still an active and constant component of the marriage scene. While it persists, what can be done is to minimize the negative impacts concerned with it. We hope our readers understood why telling people what they got in Jahez can lead to a host of problems. There is an urgent need to tackle this pressing issue. We all need to do our part.

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