Moving in: The Guidelines of What to Expect

To move in with your partner after marriage is a central event in an individual’s life. Accompanying it is a major shift in life which is the transition from one family to another family. The prospect of this thought is enough to daunt the minds of to-be married individuals. Certainly, transitioning into a new location is not a meagre thing to do. It encompasses a shift in almost every situation. Preparation on a mental level is necessary to ensure that you don’t land yourself into a crisis once you finally make the shift.

Move in with Your Partner

To help you envision a paradigm to adjust to a brand new genre of life, We, at Shadiyana empathize with you and intend to prepare you for this important step in life. So, here we are in order to provide you a perspective of what and what not to expect when you move in with your partner into a new home. This is your friendly marriage starter pack guide.

  1. Awkwardness When You Move in With Your Partner

New home, new people. For extroverts, it may not be a biggie. But for introverts, well it’s not a smooth sea to sail. In our society, there is generally a very low level of interaction with the in-laws before marriage. Therefore, moving into a new place might seem kind of like landing in uncharted territory. Processes of getting to know people can take ages or merely minutes depending on the overall mood and friendliness. The sooner the ice is broken, the formalities are broken down will you be able to settle soothingly into your new home when you move in with your partner. It is all about opening up to people and letting them reciprocate the same attitude.

  1. Different Sleep Cycles

Sleep is one of the most integral (and most important) portions of our daily life. To do well in life, a good night (or day) sleep is fundamentally crucial. Well that is a potential headache for a newly married individual. It is seemingly highly probable that your spouse is an “early to bed, early to rise” individual that would spell problems for your night owl tendencies. Not to say that the vice-versa could be possible as well. Either way, this is one which should make it on the list of top under-looked concerns in married life which pretty much goes under the radar of premarital concerns. 

The solution to this problem lies in compromising from both ends. Both spouses need to make adjustments, while one needs to up their night hours, the other needs to tone them down gradually. With time, those little changes will be integrated and both of your sleep cycles will be adjusted accordingly.

  1. Missing Your Mom’s Cooking

In Asian societies, the concept of the hand’s taste and motherly affection is highly valued and respected. We all are so used to our mother’s culinary touch that the thought of missing out on it makes us shiver. Certainly everyone can relate to the feeling of our taste buds being tuned and addicted to mom’s food but moving into a new home takes away that privilege. 

Move in with Your Partner

While you may occasionally get to once again feast on your mother’s delicacies, different cuisines, tastes, spices, flavors will welcome you into a different kitchen. Picky eaters, this one’s for you. This is a great opportunity to try out new cuisines after you move in with your partner, make yourself at home with different culinary arts and styles. 

  1. Different Vibes

While the spousal indulges might be matching, other family members may be passionate about entirely different genres. To add onto that, it is not possible to have a 100% matching with your spouse as well. Maybe they are a cricket lover and you have zero interest in any sport, let alone cricket. On the contrary, maybe you’re a TV Series person. Fights for the TV remote then? 

In reference to the previous point, the taste buds can also not be aligned as your spouse might be a fast food enthusiast while you’re strictly desi. Same can go for hobbies, habits and leisure time activities. It is also noteworthy that while your interests align with your spouse, the rest of their family follow different patterns. It is important to find common ground as well as acknowledge the differences of every individual to develop long lasting and strong relationships.

  1. Responsibility Shifts When You Move in With Your Partner

The shift in marriage life is not merely a transfer of location but rather a new bunch of responsibilities on your shoulders. You’ll be expected to handle unheard burdens in your own home and that’s something worth preparing for from the onset. For the ladies, ranging from simple tasks to washing the dishes to taking care of everyone’s needs from the elders to the little ones, and for the guys, taking care of your in-laws and frequently visiting them while also taking care of the financial needs of your wife, it can be a physical and mental exhaustion for anyone to cope with new duties that may seem alien at the start. Negotiation and delegation is an important part for you to not feeling any burnout. To find out more about balancing chores and duties, why not visit our recently done piece for some insight.

Move in with Your Partner

  1. Transition to the Ordinary

From the onset, marriage seems to be a permanent extension of the carefree pre-marital period with your now spouse but the paradigm shift happens significantly with heavier expectations and daunting responsibilities. The relaxed and calmed routine of the early days of married life are finite and sooner or later, the normal circle of life will commence as euphoria slowly transcends to nothingness. 

Ek hi Lamhe main Waqt Badal Diye Jazbaat Badal Diye

You will find yourself slipping into patterns of boredom and conflict at times. Not to worry much, these things happen in a newly formed bond and are actually opportunities to strengthen the relationship, not weaken it if the right attitude is maintained.

  1. Washroom Woes

There are picky individuals and then there comes people with washroom tendencies. Some people can find the prospect of sharing a toilet very uncomfortable and extra care is needed in this matter. This area is the most sensitive region of many individuals and any disruptions in this place can have dire consequences for the said person and the person causing those disruptions. Effectively communicating and empathy is the solution for this. Understanding your spouse’s sensitivities and integrating habits that don’t infringe on those sensitivities is the way to about this issue.

  1. Traditions Vary

Family dinners, gatherings, celebrations. These types of events might have been the norm in your own family but that’s not necessarily the case in the house where you move in with your partner. Families can be radically different in terms of social, cultural and political ideologies and thus have different ways of gathering, celebrating and occasions. Well the line below is something you might have to hear at some point in your life, if not right now.

Hamare Khaandan main to aise nahi hota….

While your family might be very active in terms of socializing and partying, your in-laws might not necessarily hold the same habits or preferences. This can be one of the hardest things to adjust in terms of marriages and a lot of individuals find it hard coping with the shift in conduct. 

  1. Tidy vs the Unruly Lot

So the first thing you do is make your bed in the morning? Well you certainly must be a tidy one. Turns out that our spouses might not carry the same habits. For one, they could very well be someone who leaves their side of the bed completely unorganized in the morning or they just don’t like to clean their room. Such behavior can be a headache for a clean freak. Effectively communicating your concerns and trying to make gentle remedies is the way to go about this issue.

Move in with Your Partner

Moving on from the place you’ve cherished ever since you’ve blinked to a new and often alien place for the rest of your life is not an easy thing. There are so many variables, expectations and uncertainties involved which can make any individual nervous. We hope this gives our readers a headstart as they head into married life. All we have to say is

Ghabrana Nahi Hai

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