The Best Time To Get Married Is…

Marriage is a responsibility. It is not a decision you can make impulsively. You need to be at a certain place mentally and emotionally in order to make that decision because it will affect the rest of your life. Despite constant pressure from parents as soon as you turn 20, or you graduate, the best time to get married rarely depends on either of the two.

According to Audrey Hope, a relationship expert,

The best time to get married is when you feel comfortable and confident in your job and personal life.

As with everything, there are certain boxes you check, certain milestones you reach, that makes you ready for marriage. Marriage is a commitment of a lifetime, so you need to be absolutely confident in your decision, leaving little to no room for regrets. There isn’t a set certain age that you cross and become the perfect candidate for marriage, however, different notions can be taken into account to help you decide.

Note: In accordance to the laws of Pakistan, we do not advise anyone to get married before 18 years of age. 

The gist:

  • Self-Awareness
  • Your Reasons for getting married
  • Conflict resolution
  • Are you ready?
  • Financial and emotional independence
  • Your values...

The full story:

Neurological Point of View

According to neurologist Kelsey Torgerson, your brain completely develops by the time you are 25. So it is best to wait for this marker. However, this does not mean that you are ready by the time you are 25.

  1. Self-Awareness
  2. Self-awareness is a key factor for marriage. Entering a marriage requires you to share your personal space with someone, letting them in completely. You can only be ready to share if you’re self-aware, and at complete peace with your own self. As the saying goes,

    You can only love someone once you’ve learnt to love yourself.

    So, you need to know your worth, accept yourself for who you are, learn about your flaws and be comfortable with them. If you’re self-aware, it leaves no room for insecurities, which often play a huge role in breaking relationships.

    You also need to enter the marriage without an expectation that it will complete you, you need to be enough for yourself first.  The truth about marriage is, that it does not complete you, it simply adds more to you. Hence, you just feel just as loved, secure, and complete whether or not you are married.

  3. Identify your reason for getting married
  4. This is very important. You need to have a clear perspective about marriage, and why you want it. You need to understand all the responsibilities that come with the marriage and be fully accepting of all of them. Do not decide to get married under pressure or because all your friends are getting married, take your time with it, age is just a number.

    Figure out why you want to get married. Your reason should not be an escape plan or figuring it out after marriage.

    The key goal of marriage is accepting someone in your life, and wanting to grow with them, and share experiences. Do not expect marriage to be an escape, or help you fix your problems. If you’re only in it to get a partner or a shoulder to cry on, it’s best to wait and resolve your problems first. The best time to enter a marriage is once you have resolved all your issues and are just wanting to share and have mutually benefitting experiences with another person.

  5. Conflict resolution
  6. One thing that you need to be good at before marriage is conflict resolution. Your behavior towards conflict is a deciding factor of whether or not you should get married. Marriage can largely involve compromise. There are going to be situations in which you do not agree with your partner, but how you react decides on how your relationship goes. Things that are off-putting to you should be communicated, rather than being bottled up. If there is a conflict, you should be able to put your ego aside and try to resolve it in the best possible manner. Only if you can do this are you ready for marriage, as a key to a healthy marriage is good conflict resolving skills.

    best time to get married emotional maturity

  7. Ready to decide for yourself
  8. You can only make informed decisions if you have a sense of what you want from them. Hence, you need a clear view of what you want for yourself, whether it is marriage or not, and if you can decide who you want to marry without getting clouded with emotions. You need to be independent enough to make your own decisions, and good ones at that.

  9. Financial and emotional independence
  10. Nobody knows where they might end up. This is why it is necessary to take all steps to secure their future. Financial independence before marriage is of utmost importance and cannot be stressed enough. You need to be able to stand on your feet, without having to rely on your parents or your friends. Constantly remind yourself of the fact that a marriage will not help you achieve independence, it is just an added factor to your independence. So only after you are both emotionally and financially independent can you think about getting married. This is why most people get married in their late 20’s after they’ve settled down with a job.

  11. Aligned to your values

People tend to change their opinions and viewpoints each time they meet someone new in their life. It is human to disregard personal beliefs to impress people or get them to like you. This is sometimes also beneficial because it helps you overcome your toxic and unlikeable traits as well. However, when it comes to marriage, you should have a firm grasp of who you are, what you believe in, and what you stand for. Knowing your core beliefs and staying true to them is very important before you enter marriage because these are the values you are going to be transferring to your children. If you yourself are confused about your values, you might not be able to raise your children to be strong-willed.

Did you enjoy reading this blog? Yes? Why not check out our other informative blogs like How to prepare for your wedding night. And visit Shadiyana to make your dream wedding come true.