Resolving Couple Conflicts For Love to Grow

Couple Conflicts are an essential part of relationships. While relationships are a series of rupture and repair. Couples who have been together for a long time often get into cycles of arguments. When you or your partner are stressed, it can be easy to spiral into a cycle of blame games. Furthermore, you may find yourself arguing again about the same thing, disagreeing with your partner, or even landing in a war of words and having a fallout. But remember, you’re allowed to settle into an argument for something dear to you – save it! Life is too short to live with high expectations and ego. You desperately want your partner back but are not ready to do what it takes to make it work and get your relationship fixed.

Couple Conflict! A term we’re all familiar with, but do we understand the depth and consequences of a conflict? To begin with, we define the word conflict; which is the disagreement or differing opinions on many issues or traditional influences that can cause a clash between your spouse and may arise due to miscommunication. Conflicts when resolved healthily can make the bond between a couple stronger and help them grow as individuals.

In short, conflicts are typical, it’s the making up that matters the most. But how do we successfully resolve conflict? Avoiding conflicts can create more problems; here are some steps to help you resolve a conflict, fair fighting that partners should observe without making things end in a fight.

  • Clarify the Issue Completely
  • No Interrupting
  • Practice Non-Defensive Behaviors
  • Lower Your Expectations
  • Don't Argue
  • Practice Patience and Acceptance
  • Compromise for Faster Resolution to Conflicts

Communication is the Key!

Couples who communicate effectively can affirm each other, listen and respond non defensively to the needs of their spouse. They stay focused on the issues at hand and communicate negative feelings in a non-destructive manner. Lack of communication is one of the primary issues in relationships. This leads to a series of misunderstandings and brings down picture-perfect relationships. Therefore, having great communication is an intentional practice.

Signs of having a bad communication with your spouse.

  1. Lack of Compromise
  2. Getting Defensive
  3. Criticizing Your Partner
  4. Few Attempts to Connect
  5. Always Arguing

Remember you’re a team. In most cases, your partner tries to meet your needs or may not know how to meet them. That’s where thoughtful conversation comes in.

‘You’ vs. ‘I’ Statements

One of the first steps is looking at what are some of the communication patterns that are happening within your relationship. You need to work on positive communication, a technique used in couple therapy to resolve couple conflicts, that is, ‘I feel unheard. Can we please talk?’ instead of ‘You never listen to me.’ Or ‘I feel misunderstood’ instead of ‘You don’t understand.’ It’s a small difference but it can prevent your partner from feeling attacked.

‘I’ statements allow you to be positive without making accusations, which can often make your partner feel defensive. The effectiveness of this technique extends to ALL types of relationships, while using the words ‘I feel’ you can express yourself successfully.

Carve Out Time for the REAL Talk

To begin with, let your partner know you have something on your mind that you’d like to chat about. If talking right now is not a good time, then decide on a time that is designated as a couple moments to talk about the situations that weigh your day-to-day issues and things resting heavily on your heart. No couple can talk about any stressor 24/7. Clarify the issue completely by understanding and fixing the problem. Get clear and look for logical reasons behind the situation. Agree to take frequent breaks when things get escalated to nurture your self-care and come back to the conversation at another time. A good talk can clean the air.

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Use Empathy

Before you dive in, you need to let go of the blame and shift out of your anger while having couple conflicts. One way you should try to get out of this situation is to use empathy.  Sometimes when couples are not approaching it in a more withdrawn kind of way, the partner can empathize with the pain. Just a simple act of empathy can go a long way to be able to heal some of those attachment injuries and places of disconnection.

It’s choosing connection over being right.

Avoid Criticizing Your Partner During Couple Conflicts

Let’s go further. Think about how you can express yourself without using degrading words; blame gaming, sarcasm, digging into the past or criticizing your partner. Try not to prolong the silent treatment for a longer duration. Often the avoidance behavior hurts our partner more than the original truth. Limit the discussion to the agreed-on-topic, and don’t interrupt your partner. You must give time to your partner for expressing emotions, if you’re not able to, a healthy relationship can go downhill fast. Find common grounds to agree and settle down the situation. Accept mistakes and forgive and be aware of communication tactics that are most likely going to cause a fight. These adjustments can really be helpful.

Address Feelings and Wants

Couples may disagree but respect or compassion should always be shown to each other. Improve the overall mood of your relationship by appreciating your partner and intentionally doing nice things for each other. The more positive overall the relationship is, the better the communication goes. Continue to work until a solution acceptable to both partners is found. Make decisions to prioritize your relationship and prioritize happiness by making small sacrifices to preserve the peace.

Relationships become effortless after you make an effort.

Try viewing your partner as being on the same team as you. Take responsibility for what they are sharing with you. A great relationship is not about being right or wrong, it’s about being able to see the impact you have on your partner.

Comfort your partner and express commitment to the relationship. This symbolic act requires you to step outside of yourself, your egos, wounded pride and your own world and meet your partner where they stand, that’s what makes all the difference.

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